In memory of a dear friend, Christine20 December 2009
Last night, I went to bed at 9pm. It was the end of my Ortho posting, the beginning of my holiday, and time to finally surf the net aimlessly without guilt, do random things for no good reason, read the books that i've been wanting to read, and just bum around. Instead I plonked onto my bed, turned off the lights and just lay there.
I prayed. I prayed for my friend Christine, trying to imagine what it would be like to be her. A sense of helplessness, hopelessness, fear. Christine told us before, what it felt like to have a seizure- the consciousness of it happening, and the tremendous fear that it would never end. I imagined the pain, the immobility. I remembered the Christine i never really knew, the time when i held her hand even though i never knew her prior to her illness, the time when we ate pizzas in her ward, the time when we sang songs as she did her EEG. I felt angry. God, please put an end to this, if not through healing...
I woke up at 12:06am. i had to check Christine's blog, and so i did on my handphone, and it was indeed updated. my heart skipped a beat when i read "Had to select some photos of my sister to send to Pastor...". I read on, and was relieved.
This morning, i received news of her passing.
* * *
If life had no value, then death would be of an equal insignificance. i remember a friend once told me, the reason why we feel sad at death (be it that of a loved on or any stranger on the road) is that our minds deem death as an unnatural progression, as though death was wrong, and that life was meant to go on forever. in this way, God set eternity in the hearts of Man.
If life had no reason, then suffering ought not to be questioned. there is no reason for life, and there is no answer for suffering. nothing needs to be justified because things happen with no intention, no origin, direction or finality. it is only in the context of Sin as written in Genesis, Christ as the sacrifice and the promise of salvation that there is reason for suffering, and beyond that the hope that surpasses even death.
If death were the finality of life, there will never be justice for the misgivings of the world. those who suffer for righteousness will never attain their deserved reward, and those who live a life of carnality would have been too easily let off the hook. but in light of Christ and the final judgement that He brings, all will be set right before the true Judge- He who is blameless, faultless and without sin- to restore all things to order, to set right the things that our courts have failed to.
In this moment of grief and loss, let us remember that it is because there is an inherent value of human life, a reason for which we live and the salvation that Christ brings that even in death, there is hope- a hope of justice, a hope of righteousness and a hope of eternal joy.
Christine- i would love to see you smile again (: till then, G
In the sweet by and by
We will meet on that beautiful shore.
