Salt

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:5-6

Vocation

"If a Christian man proposes to be a teacher, physician, lawyer, mechanic, or farmer, it must be, not chiefly from promptings of the world or self, but chiefly because he verily believes he can, in that calling, best serve his heavenly Master. If he hath not this consecration, we do not say he is unfit for the ministry only, he is unfit to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. If any man think this standard of dedication too strict, let him understand at once that he is “not fit for the kingdom of God;”" R L Dabney

Fierce.

The Great Divorce, by CS Lewis

What needs could I have,’ she said, ‘now that I have all? I am full now, not empty. I am in Love Himself, not lonely. Strong, not weak. You shall be the same. Come and see. We shall have no need for one another now: we can begin to love truly.’

* * *

'But what of the poor Ghosts who never get into the omnibus at all?'

'Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell choose it. ... No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock, it is opened.

I watched my son die

Gary Habermas, Christian apologist, philospher and theologian, author of the Resurrection of Jesus, speaks on how he reconciles his faith in a loving God with the death of his wife.

"...There are times where I wish I can move away from strict evidence evidence evidence, to talk about how the resurrection is applied to everyday life..."

God watched His son die. And that's why in Christ, there is hope.

Here, take my cloak as well

I was rather taken aback by a conversation I had today with a friend (henceforth known as X). It was after the lectures, and a couple of us were just hanging around and I casually went up to X to say hi. I knew that X had an interest in a particular elective posting. This was roughly how the conversation went...

G: hey X! so did you apply for the ABC elective?
X: Ehhh no I didn't.
G: Oh? How come?
X: Oh because I'm not really keen on that particular elective.
G: Oh...then will you be doing that posting under another elective?
X: Yup, at PRQ hospital.
G: Oh! Ok that's cool...with which doctor?
X: Errr...can you not ask so many questions? Everyone is very secretive about it you know...
G: Oh right, sorry then.

X's reply took me by surprise. Obviously I had assumed that asking someone else about their elective plans wasn't something that could come across as offensive. I should have been more sensitive.

Still, I wondered if it was just me, or the curriculum, the new residency program, or the fact that we are one and a half years to graduation, that people around me were becoming increasingly competitive. I entered medical school three years ago thinking how fortunate I was to have been admitted, not just for the course, but also for the fact that in a faculty like this, competition would be something rather secondary. I hadmany reasons to think so- firstly, that the basic requirement for us is to pass the exam. A first class honours comes by once every 5 years, and other than that, the rest of us fall into a generic category of "pass", with nothing to differentiate one from another. Secondly, I assumed that all of us were admitted on the premise of having some sort of altruism. Surely, we are all working together to become good doctors, not "better-than-you" doctors, I thought. Thirdly, upon graduation, we are guaranteed jobs! Unlike other faculties where students need to compete for internships, pupillage and others, we are by default entered into a system in which we are rotated through hospitals, all under the same House Officer umbrella.

I guess point 3 no longer holds, in light of the residency program. The hot question in recent times has been "So, which residency program are you interested in?" Not surprisingly, most people have something that they've set their eyes on. There is most certainly nothing wrong with that, and everyone is entitled to their own aspirations. Still, as I look at the statistics, only 30% of all our great aspirations will come to fufilment in 1.5 years time. The other 70% of us will well, remain as House Officers, an apparent one notch lower in rank. Shouldn't most of us be ready to accept that role then?

Even before we've realised it, the rat race has long begun, and we are all just filthy rats in this filthy race. Harsh words, but not without a slither of truth. Troubled by it, I spoke with B on the way home, asking him what he thought was an appropriate Christian response to such competition.

...And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. (Matthew 5:38-42)

Give him my cloak too? Surely not if I'm freezing too?! I thought. I came home after a long day to find myself reading three separate articles that came up on my newsfeed, all unrelated to each other. The first was Why be a rat in the rat race... and the second was How will you measure your life? The third was from Kitesong. In several ways, God was teaching me something about developing the right work ethic, in understanding the purpose of my life, and to have an eternal perspective. What matters most? What is my definition of success?

Perhaps one day I will learn to say, "Here, take my cloak as well."

Modern Thinker's Creed

"...We believe that all religions are basically the same-at least the one that we read was. They all believe in love and goodness. They only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation."

Till then

In memory of a dear friend, Christine

20 December 2009

Last night, I went to bed at 9pm. It was the end of my Ortho posting, the beginning of my holiday, and time to finally surf the net aimlessly without guilt, do random things for no good reason, read the books that i've been wanting to read, and just bum around. Instead I plonked onto my bed, turned off the lights and just lay there.

I prayed. I prayed for my friend Christine, trying to imagine what it would be like to be her. A sense of helplessness, hopelessness, fear. Christine told us before, what it felt like to have a seizure- the consciousness of it happening, and the tremendous fear that it would never end. I imagined the pain, the immobility. I remembered the Christine i never really knew, the time when i held her hand even though i never knew her prior to her illness, the time when we ate pizzas in her ward, the time when we sang songs as she did her EEG. I felt angry. God, please put an end to this, if not through healing...

I woke up at 12:06am. i had to check Christine's blog, and so i did on my handphone, and it was indeed updated. my heart skipped a beat when i read "Had to select some photos of my sister to send to Pastor...". I read on, and was relieved.

This morning, i received news of her passing.

* * *

If life had no value, then death would be of an equal insignificance. i remember a friend once told me, the reason why we feel sad at death (be it that of a loved on or any stranger on the road) is that our minds deem death as an unnatural progression, as though death was wrong, and that life was meant to go on forever. in this way, God set eternity in the hearts of Man.

If life had no reason, then suffering ought not to be questioned. there is no reason for life, and there is no answer for suffering. nothing needs to be justified because things happen with no intention, no origin, direction or finality. it is only in the context of Sin as written in Genesis, Christ as the sacrifice and the promise of salvation that there is reason for suffering, and beyond that the hope that surpasses even death.

If death were the finality of life, there will never be justice for the misgivings of the world. those who suffer for righteousness will never attain their deserved reward, and those who live a life of carnality would have been too easily let off the hook. but in light of Christ and the final judgement that He brings, all will be set right before the true Judge- He who is blameless, faultless and without sin- to restore all things to order, to set right the things that our courts have failed to.

In this moment of grief and loss, let us remember that it is because there is an inherent value of human life, a reason for which we live and the salvation that Christ brings that even in death, there is hope- a hope of justice, a hope of righteousness and a hope of eternal joy.

Christine- i would love to see you smile again (: till then, G

In the sweet by and by

We will meet on that beautiful shore.

Reflections on Easter

I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: ‘I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.’ That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronising nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.

C.S. Lewis

As with every year, this Easter was special. Even more so as it marks the last day of our short break before we begin CSFC, traditionally known as the elementary clinics. The past one and a half weeks were spent shooting, meeting up with friends, lunches with my mom/grandma and running errands. It was nice to have time to laze around in the afternoon, considering life and the world we exist it. As I ponder the existence of life, my simple mind often comes to a simple conclusion of a life for the glory of God.

Lunches at Crystal Jade and Hong Kong Cafe (don't go there it really sucks) with my mum and grandma, plus walking around Shenton Way to run errands kind of filled up my days. 2 afternoons with Liwei, Ziteng and James in preparation for Easter. I also appreciated meeting up with Kaiqian, Ze, Joy, Bea, Hap, Alfred and Sng for dinner (Celeste was lurking somewhere in Indonesia). Good fish (in my opinion, but much to disappointment of some :p), good prata and teh ping :) Then there were the back-to-school days for VCF, release of Viva lists and PHS meeting. Sundays in church and at clinics. All in all, a good one and a half weeks gone by.

Tonight puts me in a reflective mood, in light of Easter, and the (pseudo) end of M2. Another academic year has gone by, rather horribly and painfully with MBT and his neverendingbacterianames. I think many would agree that M2 slapped us into reality of our limitations, and for myself, a desperate need for grace. Afternoon naps were guilt-ridden, and I am thankful for my MSN buddies who bothered to reply me (you know who you are). I would go to sleep feeling so relieved to be able to put down my work and finally close my eyes, but I would wake up to an immediate thought of "oh crap did I oversleep, I'm behind schedule. I need to hurry up". An apt illustration of what it says in Ecclesiastes.

"Because all his days his task is painful and grievous; even at night his mind does not rest.

This too is vanity."

We always remind ourselves to see the big picture, but yet our eyes are too fixated upon the details (both in Microb and in Life). Every Easter we remember the cruxifiction of Jesus, and His glorious resurrection on the 3rd day. This Easter I came to a realization that no one took Jesus' life - no one could have. It was He who willingly gave up His soul. To H and D who joined me for Easter this year, thank you for being willing to share something that is close to my heart, and I hope that the message of Easter is something that you will sincerely consider.

As we move on into a entirely new ball game, a new set of challenges await us. In a world where we are all looking for hope that finds its form in people, policies, music or spirituality, only one is found upon the truth that we know - In Christ we trust.

My heart will choose to say

Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.

Job 1:21, Holy Bible

What we deserved, He never gave.
What we don't, He gave us by grace.

I am not

just about the most amazing quote i've heard in a while, an illustration by D.A. Carson on the revelation of the gospel through personal self humiliation.

"I am not what I ought to be.
I am not what I wish to be.
I am not even what I hope to be.
But by the cross of Christ, I am not what I was. "

- John Newton, slave trading sea captain who became the well loved writer of the song "Amazing Grace"

There Is A Hope

There is a hope that burns within my heart,
That gives me strength for ev’ry passing day;
A glimpse of glory now revealed in meagre part,
Yet drives all doubt away:
I stand in Christ with sins forgiv’n;
And Christ in me, the hope of heav’n!
My highest calling and my deepest joy,
To make His will my home.

There is a hope that lifts my weary head,
A consolation strong against despair,
That when the world has plunged me in its deepest pit,
I find the Saviour there!
Through present sufferings, future’s fear,
He whispers ‘courage’ in my ear.
For I am safe in everlasting arms,
And they will lead me home.

There is a hope that stands the test of time,
That lifts my eyes beyond the beckoning grave,
To see the matchless beauty of a day divine
When I behold His face!
When sufferings cease and sorrows die,
And every longing satisfied.
Then joy unspeakable will flood my soul,
For I am truly home.

The Stand - Hillsong United

So I’ll stand

With arms high and heart abandoned

In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand

My soul Lord to You surrendered

All I am is Yours

MCF Christmas Party

i must say that last night was surreal.

it has all come full circle.

and we're only human too.

A Note to the Lonely

From Nelson's, A Note to the Lonely.

"It is in worship that loneliness is cured because in worship, as we adore Him, we remember his unconditional love for us. Worship reminds us that in the midst of being battered by the world, and being sided against by people we considered friends, or being at the end of nasty rumours, that God is steadfast and loves us no less. He is the Father of lights in whom there is no variation. He's love is unconditional.

Worship reminds us of our value and of a God who walks with us. We are not left alone. We are not abandoned for all of our infirmities.

His love was shown on the cross. The person of Christ, his death and resurrection is a fact of history. But more than a fact of history it has a depth of riches we need to lay hold of. It proves God's disposition toward us. He does not hate us. He does not want to wield his sword over us. He is not jealous (as he is often claimed to be - a jealous God) because he is petty. He is jealous as a loving husband would be of a wife who runs into the arms of a lesser man. He is jealous with a pure love. He looks on every one of us and knows we are treasured, deeply treasured."

Psalm 121

today, Kim blessed me with this. when you are down and out, faithless and doubtful, the Lord provides and is faithful. it doesnt take much to realize that humans fail, but the Lord's promise is that His grace remains forever. i hope it blesses you as it blessed me.

I lift up my eyes to the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip

He who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, He who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm

He will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forever more.

James 1:15

After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.

Thank God

needing God

you can have all the fun in the world. you can top the class and know all the answers. you can play the guitar really well, tell the funniest jokes.

you can sit in the couch all day, thinking about how to live. you can sit in a corner, imagining your meal, hoping for one. typing on the computer all day.

you can be the top athlete, win all the honours. break your leg, and still do the same. you can fight all you want, thinking that life does no justice - you find it yourself.

you can win all arguments, bring home a prize, get a girlfriend and travel the world, become the youngest top management.

you can enjoy your life. or work it away.

whatever we do, we're still the same - people in need for someone greater.

if i have not love, i have nothing

i've a lot of thoughts swirling in my head at this moment.

but for now, i'd just like to revel in the fact that there's someone higher in control.

combined church camp

back from church camp!

and a little more prepared for heaven. :D