The lady with grey hair

S is a lady at Dwell who seems to be an odd piece. In a church full of young working professionals, she stands out with her usually unkempt grey hair, walking stick and a smell that usually associates itself with homelessness. Amongst all the regulars, she has near perfect church attendance, and I have never once seen her late. She always sits in the second row from the front, and struggles to stand and sit as per the service despite her severe osteoarthritis. She is not homeless, but it would be easy to jump to that conclusion. Her tattered back pack is filled with little knick knacks and uneaten food, suspicious of some hoarding behavior. She mutters under her breath, and would often give you the side eye.

So when I first met S, I thought hmm odd lady, could use some charity. Over the past year, I've come to realize what a lovely and Godly lady she is! She turns up for church events, shares her prayer requests for her friends, and kept a little diaper coupon that came in her mail just for us when I was expecting. Out of the little she has, she made us a little card to celebrate the arrival of Zoe, and insisted on making a Christmas stocking for her.

At our last Sunday in church, she wound up enough courage (as she says so herself) to ask to hold. Zoe's for a little while, to which I was most glad to oblige. She doesn't have Facebook or email or a mobile phone, so she asked for a mailing address to write to us at. The way she tries to give and show love out of whatever lot she has been given truly warms my heart. :)

Small things

I lost my school ID last night whilst walking from home to 3rd Avenue along the streets of busy New York. I must have dropped it because I had earlier slipped it in my side pocket while collecting packages, and forgot to transfer it back to my bag.

Felt sad and troubled because it costs USD $15 to make a replacement, will take 5 working days to replace and in the meantime I wouldn't be able to attend pilates class just because I cannot swipe into the gym.

I remembered what Si En said about her praying about small things when she loses her stuff, and so I did. And then I felt bad because I honestly think that God has far greater things like the Syrian refugee crisis and world events to be concerned about then to help me find my student ID.

This morning I went to security again and alas, no card. Went in to office to request for a new card and walk by the card office to see if I needed extra authorization to make a new card.

Hi, I've lost my card. Would you know if anyone happened to return it?

Did you receive an email? If we received it, we will send you an email.

No. I have not received any email. May I know if I need any additional authorization in order to apply for a new card? I'm not a student, my husband is. 

Hmm I'll have to check...what is your name?

Glorijoy.

Wait a minute...your card just came in. It's right...here!

And there we go. Thank God (:

Serving Notice

The best breakfast consists of meepok ta jia hiam jio he yu yuan and 4 pieces of Tiong Bahru Jian Bo Shui Kweh. Throw in one Kopi C siu dai. Absolute bliss and reminiscent. You can taste it already, no photos required.

So we have gotten some sort of assurance and direction in the coming year. I was surprised at my own reaction. On one hand it was something that SJ and I had been praying and hoping for; on the other when it did finally come through there was great sense of uneasiness and anxiety. Lots of checklists and things to organize. So much more uncertainty than it would have been otherwise.

It occurred to me recently how human behaviour changes in light of imminent departure. Being a doctor bonded to the public service, we don't quite seen that often since no one can really leave anyway (at least not after a long time). Nonetheless, with the approach of every end of posting, people start to loosen up a little more, become more heck care, after all, "I'm not gonna be here sorting out this mess in X number of days." That is probably only human nature. We could not afford the time and energy to invest in something that would neither last nor affect ourselves (save for causing harm to others of course.) Over conversations with my friends in other industries, my very suaku self realised how sensitive it is often to tender a resignation and serve notice. People could not care less about you any more, important work is directed away from you and well, I suppose maybe relationships change since one no longer becomes a part of the company hierarchy. Simply put, a declaration of departure changes ones perspective of work, and others of ourselves.

If the workplace is but a microcosm of our universe, what then, does it mean for me to be a stranger in this world, with heaven as a destination? I might be absolved of all responsibility if so, since a selfish me could easily think this world is not my own and proceed to exploit all of its resources. If I thought so, I would be clearly misguided. Scripture reminds Man to take care of the land and work it, and goes on to reveal that the new heaven and new earth does not equate to the cartoon-illustrations of floating up to the skies. There is no mass destruction of our buildings, wiping out of all that is pre-existent. The revelation is that of restoration of what is old, to make new once again. In light of this, it would be consistent to believe that God has charged us to be stewards of whatever we are doing now, contextualized to a view of eternity.

Going back to my departure, this random muse of mine serves as a reminder to myself to continue to uphold and honour the work that I do even in this time of "serving notice".

Flowers from Marc and Xiuli's wedding, 16 March 2015

Actually...

I'm not so scared anymore. The joy of the Lord is my strength!

Only by grace

Week 1 in Ortho SIP and despite being post-call at 7:30pm, there has been much to give thanks for. God's grace is truly sufficient for thee!

Small blessings

Just to remember, thank God for the plug I set today. Was really hoping I wouldn't bump!

Don't we all?

I was parked in front of the mail wiping off my car. I had just come from the car wash and was waiting for my wife to get out of work. Coming my way from across the parking lot was what society would consider a bum.

From the looks of him, he had no car, no home, no clean clothes, and no money. There are times when you feel generous but there are other times that you just don’t want to be bothered. This was one of those “don’t want to be bothered” times.

“I hope he doesn’t ask me for any money,” I thought. He didn’t. He came and sat on the curb in front of the bus stop but he didn’t look like he could have enough money to even ride the bus.

After a few minutes he spoke. “That’s a very pretty car,” he said. He was ragged but he had an air of dignity around him. His scraggly blond beard keeps more than his face warm. I said, “Thanks,” and continued wiping off my car.

He sat there quietly as I worked. The expected plea of money never came. As the silence between us widened something inside said, “Ask him if he needs any help.” I was sure that he would say “Yes” but I held true to the inner voice. “Do you need any help?” I asked. He answered in three simple but profound words that I shall never forget. We often look for wisdom in great men and women. We expect it from those of higher learning and accomplishments.

I expected nothing but an outstretched grimy hand. He spoke the three words that shook me. “Don’t we all?” he said.

I was feeling high and mighty, successful and important, above a bum in the street, until those three words hit me like a twelve gauge shotgun.

Don’t we all?

I needed help. Maybe not for bus fare or a place to sleep, but I needed help. I reached within my wallet and gave him not only enough for bus fare, but enough to get a warm meal and shelter for the day. Those three little words still ring true. No matter how much you have, no matter how much you have accomplished, you need help too. No matter how little you have, no matter how loaded you are with problems, even without money or a place to sleep, you can give help.

Even if it’s just a compliment, you can give that. You never know when you may see someone that appears to have it all. They are waiting on you to give them what they don’t have. A different perspective on life, a glimpse at something beautiful, a respite from daily chaos that only you through a torn world can see. Maybe the man was just a homeless stranger wandering the streets. Maybe he was more thatn that.

Maybe he was sent by a power that is great and wise, to minister to a soul to comfortable in themselves.

Maybe God looked down, called an Angel, dressed like a bum, then said, “Go minister to that man cleaning the car, that man needs help.” Don’t we all?

Source: Unknown

Here I am

we often find ourselves asking in desperation, "God if you are there, show me." we sit around in discontentment and with disgruntled hearts. finally when that still small voice whispers in our ear (figuratively of course), we jump up in fear and disbelief.

2 weeks ago, I had a conversation with S about Little Alisha-

S: How much more money does she need?
G: About $25, ooo?
S: Huh, then how?
G: Nevermind, God will provide (:

This is God saying Here I am. From the start to finish, God provides. (: wow.

For more on the story of Little Alisha, visit kitesong.blogspot.com

• The beginning- Baby Miracle
• The mission- Ears to Hear
• The burden- No Sacrifice
• The giving- No more tears
• Completion- Measure for measure

Little Alisha

I came across this story a few days back, and it greatly moved me.

To cut the long story short, there is a little Nepalese girl, 4 years old, who was born with a hearing impairment. Despite having fixed a hearing aid back in Nepal, she hasn't been able to hear. Her only hope to hear was a surgically implanted hearing device.

Through some divine connections, her caregiver, Ms Josephine, managed to reach Waijia (M4) whom she met some time ago while WJ was on a trip in Nepal. After many (some fruitless) calls to ENT surgeons, many disappointments, God proved faithful and provided a surgeon who was willing to take on the case! As I type this, Alisha is on singaporean soil and all ready for her surgery this coming Sunday!

I do no justice to the entire tale, and the humbing parts are in the intricacies of how Alisha stepped foot onto Singaporean soil, the way each person was connected to the next, the seemingly unanswered prayers, the unconquerable task of finding a surgeon.

Little Alisha's operation fees would have cost hundreds of thousands because of the cost of the hearing implant. After a special request was made to the implant company, however, the cost has been greatly reduced. Nonetheless, the operating fees etc still amount to $32'000, even after waiving the surgical charges. She is still $22'600 short due to an extended stay as she had a cough and surgery was postponed till she had recovered from the cough.

If you/your parents/your tutors would like to make a donation to help little Alisha hear again, please send Waijia an email at waijia@hotmail.com so that she may link you up with the necessary contacts. (:

I Stand Amazed

Each time something happens it shakes me. And then I go through the entire process of worry, doubt and fear. When the end comes, I know, I know that God's hand was moving. I am so amazed. So very amazed.

I stand amazed in the presence

Of Jesus the Nazarene,

And wonder how He could love me,

A sinner, condemned, unclean

O how marvelous! O how wonderful!

And my song shall ever be

O how marvelous! O how wonderful!

Is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sin and my sorrow,

and made them His very own;

And took the burden to Calvary,

and suffered and died alone.

When with the ransomed in glory

His face I at last shall see,

’Twill be my joy through the ages

To sing of His love for me.

Spot Diagnosis

The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. "Be careful," Jesus warned them. "Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod." They discussed this with one another and said, "It is because we have no bread."

Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"

"Twelve," they replied.

"And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"

They answered, "Seven."

He said to them, "Do you still not understand?"

- Mark 8, The Yeast of the Pharisees and Herod

Rest

Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

There is no problem so big God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain so tall He cannot move it.
There is no storm so dark God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow so deep, God cannot soothe it.

If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders.
I know , my brother, that He will carry you.
If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders.
I know, my sister, that He will carry you.

He said, Come unto Me all who are weary,
and I will give you rest.

99 Balloons

Psalm 121

today, Kim blessed me with this. when you are down and out, faithless and doubtful, the Lord provides and is faithful. it doesnt take much to realize that humans fail, but the Lord's promise is that His grace remains forever. i hope it blesses you as it blessed me.

I lift up my eyes to the hills

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip

He who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, He who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm

He will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forever more.

in His time

just for the record, I didn't get my period in Europe despite living amongst 5 other girls who infected each other week after week (the power of pheromones!). it was technically due on the 29th.

chance? i'd choose to think it was God's most abundant grace. (:

Related entries: How to Induce Menstruation, Perfect Period

Perfect Period (pun intended)

i was thinking about the fantastic timing of the arrival of my period, and i thought about all the things that i wrote in that previous previous entry. then i realised i missed out an essential part of my period-inducing potion - prayer!

i had wanted it to come before 27th, and was praying about it long before. but God thought better. just nice 7 days before departure, so that the likelihood of it coming again at the end of my trip is much lower.

Lost

The moment I stepped into the arcade, I had a bad feeling come over me. I remember clearly the first thing I said was, “can someone tell me what are we doing here?” It was almost as though I knew exactly that I was going to lose my bag. Not just my wallet, or my hand phone, or any of my belongings, but my ENTIRE bag. In short, I knew it was going to happen. In fact, I became so wary that I was telling myself that I would not even stop to play any games.

I say this not retrospectively, because I remember doing three things out of character because of that “bad feeling” that I had.

1. I consciously held my bag extra close to my body.

2. I took out my hand phone and put it in my pocket for no specific reason at all. I hardly ever do this unless I’m waiting for a call.

3. I zipped up my bag - My bag usually isn’t zipped up because I find it so troublesome to keep unzipping and zipping to get things.

Well, to cut the long story short, I did end up having to join the others in a game of hoop shooting. Ironically just before the game started as Diana was putting her bag next to her, I told her “careful ah, watch your bag.” As I put my bag together with the others, and realized that mine was going to be at the top, I AGAIN had that same feeling of hello-idiot-someone-is-going-to-take-your-bag. But being the idiot that I am, I naturally ignored that thought. Then as expected, someone had to subtly walk there, snigger at how engrossed we were in playing some lame ball game, and conveniently take the bag away.

I remember after the game when I realized that my bag was missing, there was this sense of, “see, I TOLD YOU SO.” Strangely, I wasn’t too panicky or anxious. I had 2 main things in my bag – my wallet, and my Bible. We looked around to no avail, and Mingjie suggested asking the arcade staff to check for any CCTV records. Eventually the culprit was indeed caught on CCTV. It was almost embarrassing watching the footage, seeing how stupidly engrossed we were in playing the game, and how the thief just took the bag and walked away. Nothing much we could do I guess.

At the end of the day, I was presented with 2 choices – one, to be really angsty and curse and swear at such bad luck; two, to be soooo thankful because it could have been so much worse! As i thought about it, i realized i had so many things to be thankful for!

1. I had actually taken my hand phone out of my bag and been spared the trouble of getting a new number, contacts and all that annoying troublesome stuff of recontacting people.

2. I hadn’t brought my camera with me. I usually (if not all the time) bring my camera along with me for outings like that. Just earlier this morning I decided not to bring it because I felt sian of taking photos all the time.

3. I had returned the credit card my mom had passed me earlier to pay for something.

4. My IC wasn’t in my wallet. I bring my driver’s license around with my in place of my IC. And I just found out from the brother that replacing a driver’s license is way cheaper than replacing and IC. ($25 VS $100) Just as well, the photo on my license is ugly. =p

5. I didn’t even bring my umbrella with me! Eh my umbrella is the high-tec kind haha. Save some money lo. =p

The only two thing that I’m quite sore about are that the wallet was a gift from sj, and my Bible. Even though it’s the $6 paperback one I got from the Doulos, it’s really convenient and is a good size to carry around. I doubt I’d be able to get another one like that again, at least not until the Ship comes around again. :( well, perhaps my Bible being in the bag might do some good to the culprit – tomorrow being Easter, may it shed some light on the love of Christ (and some lessons on NOT taking what doesn't belong to you).

All I all, I really appreciated all the help my friends offered. The moment I said I was going to need some money to get to Newton MRT to meet my mum, Mingjie whipped out $30 and offered it to me. Of course, I didn’t need $30 to get to 4 MRT stops away, but it was a very kind gesture. Alvin even offered to send me there. :) The other who were there were also very eager to help. Kaiqian had gone to inspect the nearby toilets, and Mingjie and Celeste were with me to wait for the arcade staff to check the CCTV. Mingjie even went so much as to approach some patrolling police officers in uniform to report the incident and see what they could do. (for the record, they wern't much of help -.-) Shawn Alvin Yukit and Diana were acting as mini-police and patrolling the place. After I had left they continued to search other toilets. :) thanks guys.

In all honesty, it really sucks to lose your things, what more due to your own stupidity and carelessness DESPITE being warned by your sixth sense so many times. An expensive lesson to learn, but at the same time a precious moment of being overwhelmed with thankfulness for friends, and for God who so wonderfully minimized the damage done.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."