Unfaithful

Finally! Saturday saw the end of this very long drawn O&G posting, one loaded with hormone raging women and their screaming neonates. I guess this posting has made me appreciate children just a little bit more. I think I'm still more allured by the process of pregnancy than the process of raising children. Having a bump is a pretty awesome experience I imagine, though I wonder if a lifetime of raising another human being is worth the while. Who knows? Maybe my Paediatrics posting will change my mind. Reading Mrs Goh's blog always makes me wonder how in the world I'm ever going to manage children/work/family/church/life. Screaming boys + breastfeeding baby girl + down with flu + da-paoed food = Sian to max? I guess a loving husband really saves the day.

I watched a really old film "Unfaithful" over the weekend, starring Richard Gere in his youth (y). Woman cheats on husband, husband finds out, husbands confronts lover and kills him, more lies upon lies and at the end of the day, everyone is guilty. It is mind boggling why people go to so much trouble to cheat on their spouse. I mean, it is so terribly troublesome. You've got to

1. Date 2 people at a time! Isn't that terribly tiring?
2. Tell lies upon lies / hide your tracks / have two contact numbers
3. Be afraid of people seeing you with your lover (and therefore cannot go out and do normal dating things)
4. Live with the guilt of cheating

Also, if a person can knowingly date someone who is already in a relationship, doesn't that say something about that person already? Totally doesn't make sense to me. In the end, nobody wins.

Ok end of movie rant. I think I will watch another nonsensical movie tonight. (:

Chipotle is pronounced as Chee-Poht-Lay

I find that I am emotionally conflicted about making complaints.

On one hand, I am so annoyed that people are not doing their jobs properly, being inefficient and wasting resources. So I send in a complaint letter, worded professionally with overlays of sarcasm and frustration. But then- I get a reply, a sorry. Then my heart melts and I feel so bad about complaining. People are just trying to make a living, aren't they?

O&G is drawing to a close. After 2 weeks, I conclude that KKH is a medical student graveyard. Wearing the Medical Student tags just makes you invisible to doctors, nurses, sonographers. I find it peculiar how people go to so much effort to ignore you. I mean, doesn't it actually feel very awkward to have complete silence when there are 2 people in the room, or have someone stare at you in great hope that you might speak to/teach him/her. Is it that hard to say, I'm sorry but the clinic is rather busy today, I'll try to teach you when I can. Worse still, doctors who have all the time in the world but refuse to talk to you. No patients? Well, there are always iPhone games to pass time, time to surf Facebook, just no time to teach the medical student.

But but, I must not generalize. We've met very awesome people like Dr Timothy Lim and Dr Khoo who shower us with fun tutorials and chipotle fries. Through this posting, I've resolved to become a good clinical tutor. I used to really dislike juniors (hmm actually I still do), and find it very difficult to see myself as someone qualified to teach. But I realize that having good tutors, good role models make all that difference. It motivates you and gives you something to look forward to. It's not all that difficult to be nice! You don't have to be super intelligent and have all the answers, just a smile in the corridor or a hello in the clinic would suffice, really.

Time for a Yakult!

Abortion

I would have expected this to come up after spending 4 weeks in O&G, and I'm surprised that it hasn't. Amidst the babies that we've delivered, the caesars that we've scrubbed in for, not a single word has been breathed about the big taboo/ethical question that all gynaecologists face. Abortion. To do, or not to do.

In 4 weeks, I have yet to see any literal termination take place. My closest encounter was probably seeing 2 patients in the clinic, one coming in after another, each in stark contrast to the other.

Miss A had come in for a scheduled appointment after having arranged to proceed with a TOP (termination of pregnancy) a couple of days ago. She entered the room, and the doctor confirmed her previous diagnosis of pregnancy and was making the necessary arrangements and paper work for the abortion. As part of the pre-procedure work up, the doctors asked Miss A to get onto the examination bed to check her tummy. It was then that Miss A said, "Oh, I already miscarried", with a wry smile on her face. The doctor was stunned for a while, and proceeded to ask her about the process. Turns out that Miss A experienced some bleeding and the passing out of "some meat" while she was at work. The doctor asked what happened to that "material".

"Oh, I just flushed it down the toilet. Hee hee."

After a repeated pregnancy test that showed a negative result and an ultrasound scan, Miss A was sent off with a follow up appointment. Case closed. What happened to cause the miscarraige? No one knew. But for sure, Miss B seemed quite pleased with the outcome.

Miss B came in with her husband. Her children were already in their 20s, some working. A women of her age, pregnant? It wasn't something she and her husband were prepared for. The doctor presented the options to her, the risks that she would face, be it continuing the pregnancy or undergoing a termination. But to them, those were the least of their concerns. Just the thought of having an abortion plagued their consciences. For 20 whole minutes, the doctor discussed the issue with the couple.

"We could monitor that fetus for a while, and there is a chance that the baby might not be able to survive in your womb - in that case it would be considered a miscarraige, and you would not have make a decision to undergo an abortion. But beyond 24 weeks, we will not be able to perform the abortion anymore", Doctor said.

The couple left, wanting a bit more time to think things through. Undecided, torn and guilt stricken, about that heart beat in her tummy.

What I saw remained clear in my mind. Questions lingered. But in the busyness of the posting, I had forgotten to think all about it, not till S happened to be on the same bus home one evening. After a while of small talk and catching up, S suddenly asked, so what do you think of abortion? For that moment I was stunned and before me was a complete blur.

I don't wish to go in any lengthy exposition here and now, since arguments for and against can be accessed quite easily. My mind is a whirl as to what my stance is, how far I would go to object it. Does processing the administrative matters count toward assisting abortion? How about referring the mother to a fellow colleague who is a non-objector? Rape victims, birth defects, single mothers? How far will I go? Rather, how much will I compromise?

Above all, I must remind myself that life is God given, precious and is not ours to take. Even so, I must not be judgemental. I shudder to even imagine myself in their shoes, and the possibility of myself contemplating the option of abortion in the face of a similar dilemma. Arm chair philosophy is useless, says Abhi.

4 more weeks. Answers answers, I'm waiting for answers.

Obstetrics

The best part about obstetrics is hardly the first cry of the baby.

It is the mister holding his missus' hand, putting his mouth to her ear to tell her how much he loves her and how wonderful and amazing she is despite all the screaming, moaning and the very grubby state and compromising position she is in.

Of the 8 deliveries I've been to, only 1 mother had that TV-show priceless expression of joy on seeing her newborn. The rest just lie there with closed eyes, worn out by the entire process, perhaps envisioning the next 20 years of her life bringing up the child. Sleepless nights, diaper changes, illness, work, wifehood, sacrifices, money, school problems, teenage problems, and worst of all, the next child. Oh horror of horrors.

It's tough to be a woman.

Slimy babies

On the first day of O&G posting the department pwned me with a night call, that same night.

In the middle of the night, someone's water bag burst too early, another's fetal heart rate went into a precarious situation, scrubbed in for my first emergency caesarian section, assisted the midwife in encouraging labour, saw my first vaginal delivery, delivered the placenta and assisted in the episiotomy.

The conclusion? Babies are really slimy.

PS: Officially M4!